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I like being in love. - don't let the bastards grind you down.
I like being in love.
In fact, in the past, oh, month and a half (We'll say, since 2003 began), I have had two dreams in which I've fallen in love with some amazing chick. I like when that happens, cause my next few days I'm all like, aglow with these new-love chemicals coursing through my body. Not the lust ones, either...but those love ones. nice...

They're always shorter than I, though not too much...maybe about 5'8"? And brunettes, with hair down to about their shoulders....but often in pony tails.

The first one was french. So cute. They're never drop-dead gorgeous...I have too much pent up aggression toward overly attractive people..they tend to be unpleasant to be around, so I stereotype them all.

Anyway, it was good falling in love with a french woman.

But yesterday...man, she was awesome. I almost couldn't get her...I had to pour on the charm. She started warming up, and we were taking a walk, hanging out, just generally enjoying each other's company.

I went home and took a nap (in my dream...wrap your head around that one) and woke up and called her to get ready for our date. No answer.

I tried a few times. No answer. hmm...

Went over her house...closed and locked.

Finally, one of her friends called me.

She had been killed in some "final destination" manner...some mercury and some benzene leaked out of a hole in her wall, crawled along the wall, and entered the glass she had set down. She had ingested it before she realized what was going on.

Apparently, she had a pretty agonizing time of it, too.

What a bummer. Man was I sad, realizing that I might be falling in love, only to have that destroyed. Not a happy day for me.

Though I woke up this morning sad and happy at the same time. Weird.

And man, does this say something about what my subconscious thinks about my chances for true love or what?
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From: ludic_eros Date: February 6th, 2003 03:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
I wonder if it symbolizes something to do with your own personal perspective on relationships. Maybe you like things best in the beginning. Perhaps the newness of a relationship and the process of initially "falling" for someone is what appeals most. And one might go so far as to say that what follows this stage frightens you, bores you, or just generally lacks in appeal. Maybe this girl in your dream dies so early on, because you don't want to know what happens after that point. You want to quit while you're ahead and everything is still good...before you might find that she doesn't reciprocate your feelings or that she isn't as wonderful as you thought she was going to be...or before things get stale, boring, and less exciting than the initial phases. She dies before she can disappoint you, bore you, or hurt you. And this might say something about your feelings toward relationships with women in real life? Then again...sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. ;)
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