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1) How do you think your personality/paradigm of life has changed… - don't let the bastards grind you down.
taumeson
taumeson
1) How do you think your personality/paradigm of life has changed since being married? Since becoming a father?

I can answer this in reverse order quite well. My personality/paradigm of life didn't change much since becoming a father. My HABITS had to, absolutely...like, instead of stifling agression, learning to recognize it and temper it, yet still express it to my daughter when she does something wrong so that she can learn that certain actions can make daddy unhappy. But as for my paradigm ... I was always ready to be a father. It was actually one of the main goals of my life. In order to be a good father you need to be a discrete, whole individual. You need to have a powerful sense of self so that you don't become codependant on your children (a major mark against most mothers, mine included). Also, I've always liked lecturing and teaching, so I think that I have a lot to offer as a father when it comes to not just raising a child, but educating them as well.

Yet, as far as marriage is concerned...well, I would think my personality is still recovering. There's an odd dynamic I don't have my mind wrapped around that has to do with subversion of personality vs. strengthening of personality. It's making sure your spouse takes over where you leave off....and that your spouse's strengths complement your faults, and vice versa. Suffice it to say that I try to be a well-rounded individual, and I'm pretty rigid, so I didn't really go through that portion of the relationship. In the long run, that was entirely good for me, all things considered, but it made the relationship pretty brittle. So, I'd say the most my personality has changed wasn't so much during the marriage, but after the divorce. I'm now strong enough to be alone, knowing what I'm liable to get into if I don't find exactly the right person.



2) What is the single decision/action in your life you regret the most? How would you change it if you had the opportunity to do so if at all?

There's a few ways to address this. Considering I'm already a thousand miles away from all my friends, I regret not taking up my father's offer to move out with him in Chicago. It's one of my favorite cities, he'd be able to hook me up with a car and college tuition, and my step-mother's friends' daughter has always had a crush on me...and she's now a 21 year old beautiful blonde. Sigh.

On the other hand, considering I ended up graduating from Rowan, I regret not having just gone there in the first place. I would have had a free ride. Admittedly, it would have been nigh impossible, considering I didn't have a place to live after freshman year and no car, but that would just mean that I stayed on campus. I think it would have been pretty damn rewarding.

I think that if I could change anything, it would be the Rowan thing....as much as I would have enjoyed the leg up living with my father would have given me, I don't think I'm made to live in the midwest. My step-mom would have eventually gotten to me, and I would have missed my brother and sister.

But damn! I wish I had pictures of Noelle to show you.


3) What future event are you looking forward to the most in your life? In Evie's life? (Two separate questions)

What future event? Tough question, certainly. As crappy as this might seem, I'm looking forward to being on cruise control from here on out. Certainly I would like more children, and I look forward to helping decide the fates of people who work for me, but I can't say that I'm looking forward to any one thing anymore. The closest answer I can give that's accurate is just about the most general, that is, I'm looking forward to having a solid relationship that really enhances my life instead of being a crutch.

All the standard and predictable answers for what I'm looking forward to in Evie's life are true...the marriage, grandkids, graduation, etc....I'm excited to think about everything she has still in front of her. Like many things worth having, it's the anticipation that's the best part. But what I'm looking forward to most is communion. I'm looking forward to having a daughter who's a mature individual, and can have extensive conversation with me. It's quite a mind trip to have a baby grow up before your eyes, and at the point where we can really have a one-to-one conversation as equals, well, that's kinda the culmination of a parent's parenting.


4) Give a summary of the traits you value most and have the largest aversions to in a potential mate. How close have people you've met, both past and current, been to that list? How do you yourself stack up against it?

This is an odd list. I have many many traits I look for in a mate, but I can't say I necessarily place significant value on any one. I believe that everybody has some worth, and that it's worth getting to know a person so you can find out more about them. In general I say I look for a sense of humor, conversation abilities, storytelling abilities, beauty, intelligence, wit, drive, passion, education, tolerance and a gentle disposition. Needless to say, it's hard to find one person who fits this description, so I'm usually without one or two of them. I've noticed it tends to be the wit, drive & education that gets a beating.

In the past, it was usually bbeauty and conversation abilities. We were children, and so we were all at the same education level, and we burned with the same childhood spark, so the passion with which we lived tended to blind me from any of the other traits. It's only as an adult, having serious relationships be few and far between, that I've started analyzing what it is I'm looking for.

I would like to think I stack up well against that list. I'm obviously not tolerant or gentle, which is something I'm working on, but in more of a situation-to-situation manner...I'm just not comfortable being tolerant to things I find disagreeable. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so other than that, I think I have the rest of the traits I'm looking for.


5) In your opinion what is the biggest threat our society faces today?

In a word: tyranny. Our world is such that old men are locked into old ideas and they use their significant power to keep the world in that image. It is the radicals and the liberals that keep this world moving forward, and without that outward pressure, we would fall into a tyrannical state. Control is inexorably being wrested from the weak, and it is only because the weak outnumber the strong can tyranny be avoided...by banding together, the weak will always have a chance.

But we live in a singular time period in history. I don't believe complacency and underachievement have ever been so endemic to a society before. We have a culture that wants to be asleep and guided, and that doesn't really care about tyranny, because we have so many opiates that we are permanently stupified. Religion is called the opiate of the masses, and the Catholic church held sway over Europe for a thousand years of stagnation. Today our opiates are television and mass media, and they're pushed and manipulated just like religion was, in the same incestuous fashion.

This means that the masters of tyranny have learned from the abject lessons of the past, and have put that knowledge to work. The control mechanisms are vast, the masses are kept from assembling...it seems that the machinery of control has become a perpetual motion machine, and the only way it can end is from inside....it's going to have to get so bad, and the lies so outrageous, that the entire system breaks all at once.



I'll make up questions for you, too, if you want!
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