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i don't often remember my dreams. but man, when i do, they're… - don't let the bastards grind you down.
taumeson
taumeson
i don't often remember my dreams. but man, when i do, they're doozies. i haven't saved the world recently...mostly, i've been dreaming about love and loss.

so get this. i dreamed about alysa last night. (yes, that's how you spell her name). i can't remember exactly why or how.

she was taller and thicker than a fucking toothpick in my dream....still a bit skinny, but curvy in the right places. she was still short, but not 5'2", I can tell.

she was wearing a red sun dress with flowers on it, and her hair was mid-back length. her face was 7 years older, and with maturity came a real beauty.

now, in the dream, she wasn't just passing by...we were hanging out together. i mentioned before how being in love in your dream is awesome, cause the chemicals carry over into waking life...well, dreaming about someone who you were desperately in love with once kinda has the same effect (understatement)...though also carrying through into waking life are the chemicals that come with a broken heart.

alysa and i were in a park, doing some reminiscing, doing some catching up. one scene i vividly remember was when she was sitting down at a white table, sitting on a white chair. it's one of those metal chairs that is kind of made of flowers (actually, now that i think about it, they're the chairs from my mother's backyard..but that's not where we were).

it was nice being affectionate, holding her hand when we were being sad and sincere, cupping her chin or cheeks when i was being dour. walking through a park, petals falling down around us, on a perfect lawn next to a river.

damn my subconscious is romantic.

and here's where the dream got a little weird.

she had a list for me of dates we had gotten together after we had broken up. she had highlighted in bold the dates where i had left the encounter sadder than when i arrived. she said those were the dates that i misunderstood her intentions, and she was just trying to be light and joking, but i got hurt instead. i thought it was quite unusual, and i couldn't even recognize any of the dates. but i did notice that it had many more bold dates towards the bottom of the list.

so yeah, i haven't really thought about her as anything more than a passing reference in years, and then BOOM, super realistic dream. i haven't even seen nor talked to her for 6 and a half years (lunch at the restaurant where her sister worked to catch up a little [and do more than a little of my share of bitching...ah, closure]). how random is that?
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Comments
From: ludic_eros Date: March 29th, 2003 11:10 am (UTC) (Link)
Why don't you contact her...see what's going on?
taumeson From: taumeson Date: March 29th, 2003 06:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
i'd love to, but i don't have the slightest idea how.

i could probably call her mom....that probably wouldn't work, even if her mom didn't move, which i think she has.

i checked the internet...you can read some of her poetry online from boston university if you search google for "alysa mayer"
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